Shitposting in Another World: Post 4

This ceiling is white like mine back home but remains an unfamiliar ceiling. I stare upward for some time after I awake. Shifting a little, I feel clothing on my body. The texture of the clothes and the bedding is relieving after several hours floating in a void, followed by collapsing face first into a stone floor. After the spell hit and I passed out, they must have had me dressed before placing me here. It’s nice to know that they don’t plan on killing me for the time being. I’m pretty happy not being dead.

I get out of the bed and check myself over. There appears to be no issue with my physical body, but it feels like something is wrong. I can’t quite tell what that is yet, though. The clothes are rather bland, and appear to be handmade. Not gonna win any praise on /fa/. The walls have a simple floral pattern, and the hardwood floor is cool to the touch. It’s dark in the room, but there’s light streaming in through the curtains of a window. I open the curtains and look outside.

I appear to be in a stronghold of sorts, a fortress. The window looks out into a large courtyard surrounded on four sides by tall stone walls. What immediately catches my attention are the grounds of the courtyard. It’s filled with flowers and plants of countless colors and shapes, many of them I’ve never seen posted on /an/. Never seen those before, and I’ve seen a lot of crazy plants. What kind of alien world is this? I see organized fencing and signage accompanying the flora, making it clear that they’re being taken care of by the residents of this place. I open the window and feel the fresh air. I’m greeted by a cool spring morning. Is it April here as well? I look up into the sky and see normal looking clouds, but the sun is out of sight. It might be behind me, or it might be too early to have risen above the walls.

Closing the window and leaving the curtains parted, light streams into the room. The furniture here is sparse, and what pieces are actually here are modest. There’s the bed, an end-table next to it, a dresser across from the bed, and a small mirror atop the dresser. There’s one door leading out of the room, and at the foot of the door are a pair of sandals. I check the dresser, and there are more clothes like the ones I’m wearing. I look into the mirror. The me in the mirror, who is neither dead nor a ghost, looks back at me. What did I get myself into?

Slipping into the sandals, I leave the room. A hallway greets me, heading left or right and turning a corner at each end. I don’t see anyone, so I just pick left and start walking. Suddenly, one of the doors in the hall opens up, and one of the small knights walks out carrying a crate above its head. The crate is rather large for the creature, about the same size as the one carrying it. It notices me and leisurely walks over, placing the crate on the ground near the wall before facing me. Its helmet is open, and I get a good look at what these things look like up close. The same amber eyes, no nose, and a tiny lipless slit where a mouth would be. It’s wearing the same full body white armor covering everything, ending each limb in an oversized gauntlet or oversized sabaton. The armor itself has nothing striking about it other than its pure white color. It opens its mouth and begins speaking in an energetic and confident tone unlike that of a child, and doesn’t stop talking.

>You must be the newbie! Master sure summoned a weird one. No armor, no clothes. Atypical of what she usually pulls out of there, which has until now always been another one of us. Sometimes we get wild ones that flail about before being subdued by the binding. The worst was when a new arrival knocked out ten of our number before we could hold him down long enough to solidify his existence. You’ll have to forgive us for our caution when you were summoned. We’d never seen anything like you come out of there before and weren’t sure if you were just going to run wild. You looked confused as any would be though. That’s how it usually plays out, not knowing your purpose for being and all. Master fixed you right up though, right as rain. Glad to have you with us, though I don’t know what you’ll be doing exactly. The others seem to think you’re a real Yusur, but I’m not really sure that’s possible. I mean, Yusurs live in their towns and cities and never come this far up the mountain. They definitely don’t get summoned. Hey, what’s your talent? You sound like you have a singing voice, from when I heard you speak in that weird language last night. You didn’t appear with any instruments or tools, and when we’re summoned, we typically appear with anything we’d need to exercise our skills. That’s why I think you’re a singer. Oh if you’re wondering, my talent is sleight of hand. Master says there’s merit in being able to use “magic” without consuming any energy, but it feels like cheating. The Yusurs seem to enjoy my tricks though. Hey, do you want to see one of my tricks?

The language he speaks feels natural as if I’ve known it my entire life. Despite the speed at which he spoke just now, I easily digested all of it. Surprised by this, it takes me a little bit to realize he’s waiting for a response. Somehow, as if second nature, I manage to respond to him in the same language.

>Uh, sure. Let’s see a trick.

He clanks his gauntlets together a few times before the show begins. With a smile on his face, he pulls his left gauntlet off and starts shaking it exaggeratedly as if getting the dirt out of it. I notice that his skin is the same soot color as his face, and his hands are just as oversized as the gauntlets but have no fingernails. Amazingly, a box containing a deck of cards falls out, and he catches it with his exposed hand. After relieving himself of the other gauntlet, he begins skillfully shuffling the deck. He reveals the cards to me and asks me to pick one, explaining that he’ll guess the card. Like a cheeky piece of shit, I choose one of the Jokers, which I assume he left in the deck by accident. With a flourish, he makes the cards disappear entirely as if he performed real magic, and claps his hands together. He then reaches up, and pulls a card out from behind my ear, and flips it around. It’s a Joker. Impressed, I start clapping.

>Very nice, how did you know?

The little knight smiles, almost glowing. Actually, literally glowing. He’s giving off light. What the hell?

>Haha, a magician never reveals his secrets… But you, you’re… a real Yusur? I feel so much energy… How did master pull a real Yusur out of there? You need to talk to her right away! I’ll lead you to her!

He picks up the box, this time with one hand, and holds it above his head. With his free hand, he motions for me to follow him. And so I do just that. Periodically we meet other knights in the halls, and the talkative one gleefully reveals that I’m a “Yusur” before having whoever we meet show me their respective performance “to prove it.” Juggling, playing an instrument, dancing. It seems that every knight so far has a skill unique to them, and they’re all rather impressive at performing said skill. Applauding each one makes them glow just like the first time, which causes the knight in question to join our growing retinue as we head to wherever the Master is.


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